I attended a seminar with the Radiant Recovery group with a presentation about addiction to misery. It was a big aha moment for me. ( you can read about Ranch here) I realized misery permeated pretty much every aspect of my life. Eventually even realizing I used working on recovery as a way to mine for misery by continually looking for ways to be broken so I could *fix* something rather than just being happy to live my radiant life.
So I took a break for a couple years. Pretty much 2 years of exploring what was *me* and what was *misery* and even looking to see if sugar could teach me anything. After that, though, I went back to using sugar to *cope* and went down a rabbit hole. Another 3 years of making peace with my journey and learning how to embrace recovery again without pressing my misery buttons.
I've come to believe Kathleen DesMaison's assessment that the time away was a time of consolidation with what was authentic healing settling in and what wasn't falling away. Misery still lurks in the urge to be bad and justas and other addiction pods so I look to stay mindful and intentional about having my focus on knowing I am not broken, I am healing.
No Bonus word. Instead, here are 2 Radiant Recovery newsletter articles about misery and its impact.
